Quarterbacks as X-Men Characters
Back in 2003 I decided to take the (then) current crop of NFL quarterbacks and compare them to characters from the Marvel X-Men comics. It was fun and stupid and weirdly outdated now? There are a few that are no longer starters and a few that make less sense with the context we now have. Plus I didn't do the 2024 class so no Caleb Williams or Bo Nix. All that said, I'm just going to share the list as it was back then...
Josh Allen = Jean Grey/Phoenix - Powerful enough to completely annihilate any opposition but there’s always a possibility of going dark and doing more harm than good.
Tua Tagovailoa = Gambit - Exceptionally quick and accurate while operating with extreme confidence to the point that it can get him into trouble. Is incredibly polarizing for some reason. You either love him or really hate him.
Zach WIlson = Maggott - Has shown flashes of ability but ultimately gives you the ick when you watch him. Was shoved in our faces as the next big thing to ultimately fade away and be forgotten.
Aaron Rodgers = Magneto - Aging but still very powerful. There are legitimate questions to be asked about whether he’s still passionate about the mission or simply trying to feed his massive ego.
Mac Jones = Rogue - Tried to absorb the abilities and reputation of a true legend (Tom Brady/Captain Marvel) but eventually just kills everything they touch.
Lamar Jackson = Professor X - Possibly the most powerful of all but often gets nerfed or knocked out of the season/movie so he can rarely reach his full potential.
Deshaun Watson = Blob - Gross. A heavy weight that threatens to sink the whole operation but is utterly immovable.
Kenny Pickett = Leech - Not powerful at all but seemingly able to suck the talent from the opposing team just enough to squeak out a victory.
Joe Burrow = Cyclops - A calm under pressure leader with amazing poise and accuracy. He isn’t the flashiest of the bunch, but you know you’re in good hands with him in charge.
Trevor Lawrence = Storm - A strong confident leader with an impressive head of hair who can make it absolutely rain.
C.J. Stroud = Nate Grey/X-Man - A wunderkind who burst on the scene as if he was made in a lab by combining the traits of other great quarterbacks into a single impressive specimen.
Anthony Richardson = Nathan Summers/Cable - Another wunderkind who burst on the scene as if he was made in a lab by combining the traits of other great quarterbacks into a single impressive specimen. Except… more muscles?
Gardner Minshew = Sabertooth - Seemingly unkillable with impressive facial hair.
Ryan Tannehill = Cypher - He’s good, I guess. Is he though? Yeah, he was very useful in that one arc. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. But what about those other times where he was just… there?No, he’s good. Yeah he’s definitely probably pretty good.
Will Levis = Thunderbird - You certainly look impressive, but what would you say… you do here?
Patrick Mahomes = Wolverine - He’s the best at what he does.
Russell Wilson = Nightcrawler - Very religious and easily dismissed because of his unconventional physical appearance. He used to be wildly popular but will soon find himself just bouncing from team to team.
Jimmy Garappolo = Emma Frost - Absolutely gorgeous, oozing charisma and confidence but has been sidelined too many times to be taken very seriously.
Justin Herbert = Apocalypse - Insanely powerful with cult-like defenders. Completely dominates in hypothetical situations but has never really accomplished anything of note in the real world.
Jalen Hurts = Hank McCoy/Beast - A physical marvel who offers much more than just brawn and is continually evolving before our eyes.
Dak Prescott = Colossus - Solid. Okay, maybe he’s not an A lister but he’s… solid.
Sam Howell = Forge - He shows flashes of being able to make something out of nothing but is ultimately pretty forgettable.
Daniel Jones = Polaris - A lesser version of someone more powerful. Might be their child?
Tommy Devito = Strong Guy/Guido Carosella - Oh! ‘Eyyy! Can’t you see I’m playing football here?! Gabagool!
Jared Goff = Mimic - Can be extremely powerful if those around him are powerful as well.
Kirk Cousins = Ice Man - Been around a while and has always been impressive, even flashing incredible abilities at times but ultimately is never counted among the elite.
Josh Dobbs = Bishop - A man who continually finds himself displaced in time and space and dominates his new mission until we inevitably get bored of him and move on.
Jordan Love = Quentin Quire - A newbie hoping to replace a legend but has been little more than an annoyance so far.
Justin Fields = Cannonball - Sometimes he looks like he’s been shot out of a cannon while other times he looks like another failed Midwest byproduct.
Derek Carr = Havok - The little brother who has accomplished quite a bit but will never get the recognition for it.
Desmond Ridder = Blindspot - Because his good receivers are always in a blindspot. cough cough Kyle Pitts.
Baker Mayfield = Dazzler - Flashy and showy and burst on the scene with a lot of flare but ultimately disappointed.
Bryce Young = Jubilee - The promising newcomer who shows flashes of potential but has yet to truly impress.
Brock Purdy = Longshot - An absolute crackshot who can’t seem to lose but questions remain if he’s simply lucky and a product of his environment.
Geno Smith = Morph - Left behind and presumed dead only to return with a vengeance and wreak havoc.
Matthew Stafford = Angel/Archangel - One of the remaining old-guard. A reliable mainstay with surprising resiliency who was adopted by a brilliant mastermind and transformed to reach his full potential.
Kylar Murray = Quicksilver - Displays incredible speed and agility and can be a real asset to his team, but his devotion to the cause has been called into question.